It’s too bad that today marks the end of summer, because classes will only get in the way of everything the movies have to offer this last third of the year. It would be quite impossible to look at everything to grace the screen between now and Christmas, so we’ll just have to hit the highlights. We will barely scrape the surface, but there is still much to say.
Summer may be over, but the blockbusters that have come to define the season are still coming.
Perhaps no title has ever captured the essence of a summer blockbuster better than Shoot ‘Em Up (Sept. 7). Leaving little to the imagination, it might be worth it just to see how much crossfire, fluid exchange and bad puns an audience is able to consume.
Be sure to restock your body’s supply of adrenaline afterward to adequately prepare for what’s next: American Gangster (Nov. 2), set in the 1970s, aims to bridge the gap between the kinds of gangsters who wear snappy suits and brass knuckles and those who prefer to drop the "er" in favor of an "a." Of course, there’s much more to it; in fact The New York Times felt compelled to go the extra mile.
During the same weekend, Jerry Seinfeld, of all people, makes a comeback with his tale of a disillusioned bee in Bee Movie (Nov. 2). Hopefully the lack of Larry David won’t keep it from scoring a grade of "A."
Those who grew up on Alvin ‘ the Chipmunks may be appalled to find out that the rumors are true, but, please, don’t shoot the messenger. From the mind of the recent Garfield, Alvin (Dec. 14) is more of the same, but if the theater posters are any indication, the chipmunks have gone hip-hop.
Also appalling, a John Carpenter classic is apparently due for a makeover. However, if it is any consolation, those close to the Halloween (Aug. 31) project say the immortal tale has been handled with care – in the hands of Rob Zombie. Also, the presence of Malcom McDowell may cool a few heads. If you’re into that kind of thing, you may want to also take note of the following releases: Resident Evil: Extinction (Oct. 5), Saw IV (Oct. 26) and Aliens vs. Predator 2 (Dec. 25).
This weekend brings one of the most curious offerings of the season: another Jet Li picture. Even though the previews for Fearless promised it would be his last, War (Friday) opens this weekend. Also, three more are on the way.
For some reason, this movie season will welcome a seemingly disproportionate number of war movies. It doesn’t seem out of place, though, considering the current Iraq situation. Films about Iraq, Afghanistan and even Israel (among others) from every angle will flood theaters in the coming months.
A Tom Hanks picture, Charlie Wilson’s War (Dec. 25), is looking to be everything that Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers were, except it will be under the direction of Closer’s Mike Nichols.
However, Across the Universe (Sept. 14) will probably be the only one still hanging on Vietnam. It will also probably be the only one set to a score comprised entirely of Beatles music.
Going back even further for a fresh idea is Beowulf (Nov. 16), which looks like it took artistic inspiration from Apocolypto, 300 and The Lord of the Rings movies. Forget the way it sounded read aloud in high school English and imagine the anonymous magnum opus coming out of the mouths of Anthony Hopkins, Angelina Jolie and John Malkovich.
Straight from the pages of Cormac McCarthy’s latest work, No Country For Old Men (Nov. 9) delivers the kind of violence and intrigue that only the Coen brothers can deliver. We can only hope it enjoys the same kind of success as All the Pretty Horses.
Students have loved Jon Krakauer’s liberating tale of adventure and self-discovery for years. The larger-than-life themes of Into the Wild (Sept. 21) ought to do well on the silver screen where the beauty of such a complex landscape can really come to life and enthrall even those not so keen on picking up an old favorite.
Students of Greek theatre will have a heads up on at least one picture: Woody Allen’s latest project Cassandra’s Dream (Dec. 14). Although not set in the usual setting, apparently much of the story remains the same. With the auteur’s U.K. exile in mind, it’s no wonder he abandoned his go-to girl of late Scarlet Johanson (for now) and appended Ewan Mcgregor and Colin Farrell.
In the shadow of novels making the leap to the big screen – which also include but are not limited to: The Kite Runner (Nov. 12), The Jane Austen Book Club (Sept. 21), and The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep (Dec. 28) – cowers Hatchet (Sept. 7), which, in fact, is not the classic young adults tale at all. The ax is merely the weapon of choice in another slasher flick, so don’t get confused.
Probably resting just outside people’s comfort zone is Wristcutters: A Love Story (Oct. 19), which takes viewers to a post-mortem land reserved for those who commit suicide. No stranger to the road, Zia (Patrick Fugit) goes in search of his ex-girlfriend when life after death turns out to be not much better.
On a lighter note, if there were a contest for best movie title of the year, I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With (Sept. 7) would take the cake. Sarah Silverman and Amy Sedaris play second fiddle to a pathetic comedian who is a failure in love, no thanks to his love handles.
In a similar kind of predicament, Simon Pegg will have another shot at stardom with Run, Fat Boy, Run (Sept. 28). After the limited appreciation for his last two more popular projects, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, Pegg leaves the cozy niche storylines of Edgar Wright for a role alongside Hank Azaria, under the direction of David Schwimmer and at the mercy of writer Michael Ian Black.
After a grueling first week of reorientation and new syllabi, let off some steam with Resurrecting the Champ (Friday), starring Samuel L. Jackson. It’s not really supposed to be funny, but you’re smiling anyway. Aren’t you?
