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Thursday, September 28, 2023

Life + Arts

Being productive is overrated

OK, so there is this one-column story to the side of the newspaper.  You must really be bored, and the Sudoku most be halfway finished by now. So what are you going to do when you finish this story?

There are a lot of things you could do that would be productive, like making index cards for class or even reading the textbook. But while that might be the responsible thing to do, it’s about as interesting as reading a one-column story.

Every students needs to know of a few activities that will in no way assist their academic career but will kill time so they don’t have to leave campus and lose their parking spot.

The next time you see a student running to class, ask yourself, “Are they running late to class or are they in a hurry to get to the restroom?”

The next game involves getting up and moving around, so it might not be for everyone.  It’s referred to as the “looking for change” game. Walk around campus until you find enough coins to purchase a soda, a coffee or some beverage of your choice. I don’t suggest smoothies, though, because that will take you all day.

While strolling around campus looking for dropped change, tell everyone you encounter that you went to high school with them.  If, however, you actually run into someone you went to high school with, you must pretend that you didn’t go to high school with him or her.

If moving around in the heat seems to be a bad idea, then you could always pretend to be a human statue inside the UC-Satellite. Now, being a make-believe statue is not as easy as one might think, so be sure to pick a position in which you’ll be comfortable. You don’t have to pick the first position that you come up with, so explore your range of motion first.

If anyone asks, you’re practicing a new form of yoga.

For students who are already tired of the UC-Satellite, it’s always fun to attend classes you aren’t enrolled in, especially early in the semester when everyone’s getting to know what another. This is free education, so ask questions to ensure everyone knows that you’re there to stay. We suggest this specifically to students who are only studying their chosen major for their parents’ peace of mind.

After the class lets out, ask around to the different students and see if you can get people to let you borrow their notes with the promise that you will return them next class. Some people might actually believe you because it is so early in the semester.

Then again, if all else fails, you could always attend your classes, read textbooks, study hard and try to regulate your sleep schedule.

But where’s the fun in that?

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