Why can students get away with anything?

The Associated Press reported that the family of a New Hampshire high school student who shocked himself in shop class is suing the school. It sounds pretty standard, but that’s because we forgot to mention the fact that he purposefully attached two electrical clamps to his nipples while one of his classmates plugged it the other end of the chord into an outlet.

His family has filed suit against the shop teacher, the school district and the city, on the case that his heart stopped momentarily, claiming he has permanent brain damage.

We hope not to come off too brash, but we can’t help but wonder if the student had brain damage before the incident. The boy and his family claim that the shop teacher didn’t warn students of the dangers affiliated with electrical chords.

Yeah, we thought we read that wrong too, but the family really is claiming that teachers should have to warn their students of the obvious dangers that they may deal with in shop class.

Chemistry teachers should also tell their students not to drink poison, apparently.

What happened to common sense? And since when did we stop being responsible for our own actions? Perhaps high schools should teach morality and ethics classes to let their students know that personal responsibility is still important.

But is it?

Hell, even Starburst got sued, because one woman expected the candy to be less chewy and claimed she hurt her jaw when she bit into one. God forbid she eats a Jaw Breaker.

Silliness aside, this is a real issue that real Americans are dealing with, and a lot of them apparently think that America shares their plight. We hope you agree with us and see through these ridiculous suits, but if you don’t, maybe we should start reminding high school and even college students that fire is extremely hot so that none of our professors get in trouble.

After all, it’s plastered all over our coffee cups, because some idiot got sue-happy.