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Friday, September 29, 2023

Life + Arts

Practical jokes for the home

The Daily Cougar has interviews with the entire cast of “Jackass 3D” and a movie review that will be in Friday’s paper. To celebrate the return of our favorite pranksters, we will be running one story every day until its

When it comes to practical jokes, you really can’t out do the Jackass group. But if you’re lucky, you might be able to get a rise out of your friends. | Paramount Pictures


To start things off, here is a list of practical jokes that you can pull. Now, being able to pull a prank and actually doing it is a different story. Here is a Daily Cougar disclaimer: please don’t try any of these things. We will not be responsible for any of your actions. This list is meant to for humor — not how-to-screw-with-your-friends.

So without further stalling (and hoping we don’t get in trouble), here is a list of rather mild jokes that could still get you punched in the face.

East Coast Surprise

To do the East Coast Surprise, find every clock in someone’s room and set it to East Coast time. However, this is not as easy as you think, because a lot of people rely on their phone as their main timekeeper. All you need to do is forget your phone the night you plan goes into effect and ask the person you’re pranking to make a phone call, then go into the settings and set the clock to New York time.

Now you’re going to have to do the same thing for the clock in their car. Most people keep spare keys around their front door, and if they live in the dorms, look inside their desk.

The next morning, wake up an hour before they have to be somewhere with the fury of someone running late for class. Get them out the door — and fast. They should arrive at their destination an hour early.

This joke works on people who have to wake up earlier than usual students. Someone who has to wake up before six o’clock is going to be your prime target. A person who has to wake up around sunrise is going to be the hardest one to get — there are a lot of clocks you can change, but the sun is one thing you can’t.

What you do when you plans go awry: get a cup of water and flour, and then antique them. It’s an overplayed joke that won’t score points for originality, but you have to remember that you’re also up early and sometimes going with something that’s a classic is worth it.

It also gives them an hour to clean off the flour, so no real harm is done.

How to avoid the joke: don’t get into the habit of waking up seconds before you have to be somewhere and make yourself breakfast. Look in the pantry — if there is an empty spot where the flour usually sits, just know that your roommate had plans other than baking you a cake.

The Oil Slick

Take someone’s shampoo and mix in a petroleum jelly like Vaseline. Make sure that you have a spare bottle of shampoo in case you get a little to exited with the jelly. Shampoo should look and smell as it normally does.

This is funny because it is really hard to wash an oily substance out of your hair.

If all things go wrong, don’t bust in with the flour; let them shower in peace. But if they use hair gel, make sure to put a little Vaseline in that, too.

How to avoid this joke: put the soap in your hands and rub them back-and-forth like you’re washing your hands. If you don’t know how to wash your hands, you’re probably already a little oily anyway.

A quick run through with your hands should tell you if you’re being punked.

Be the Pride

One of UH’s school colors is red. Something that is also red is Kool-Aid. Undo the showerhead and pour the delicious drink mix in. It is very important that this is your shower, because you run the risk of destroying the showerhead. If all things go on without a hitch, then person should be all red and ready to show some school pride.

This works best on people who use the shower as a way to wake up for class. The more tired they are, the better your chances are that they will be standing under the red waterfall for longer.

This is joke also calls for a great deal of clean up, so get some shower cleaner beforehand and get in there before it dries, or else your shower will be showing a sort of pinkish pride — which could work, seeing as it’s breast cancer awareness month.

How to avoid the joke: don’t jump into the shower too early, let that bad boy run for a while before hopping in.

We could go on forever when it comes to playing jokes on friends. We just hope that you treat your friends and roommates with respect and don’t do anything out of malice.

So once again, we will leave you with this disclaimer. Anything done to hurt someone is not a joke.

The best practical jokes are always the ones that make everyone laugh and can be undone in a matter of seconds.

So take the time and think about what you’re about to do, and realize that we should not actually do any of these things to our friends. Please do not try any of these practical jokes on your friends.

There is a long list of pranks you can pull, and we look forward to hearing from you about the ones that cause little to no damage. Please email your favorite to [email protected].

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