Travis Hensley" />
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Sunday, September 24, 2023

Life + Arts

Single friends shouldn’t give advice

Earlier in the semester, I started writing about how to be a better single person. Now, there were a lot of specifics that I wanted to do with this subject. But, as it turned out, my motivation to write about my current relationship status is at about 15 percent.

That’s just enough motivation to think about writing once a week and enough to hope that something else could run instead.

So I’m going to skip a lot of lessons and move straight to the big topic. That is: Giving relationship advice to people who are still together. If you are single, of course, you know that your advice is inherently bad.

Just think, out of every relationship in your life, all of them ended with a breakup. That means that you’re either a bad judge of character or someone who is worth leaving.

Don’t worry about it; we have all those bad characteristics. Everyone likes people who have little or no redeeming qualities, and we all do some weird things that would normally spell out a doomed relationship. The problem comes when you think that you’ve found a loophole in the system.

Anywhere between one hour and five years of being single, you’ll start to look at the past a little differently. You might think to yourself, “You know she said that she didn’t want to be in a serious relationship.” Making sure that our clothes matched before we left home was probably not fun for him, either.

Little things occur to you that get mistaken as rules that apply to everyone in that gender. The truth is that if she puts her cell phone on lock, it might not mean that the girl is running around on you — it might just means that her cell phone is locked.

There are a lot of other things for girls to think about. A guy’s failure to respond to text messages only means that he didn’t respond. Now the motivation behind it is really where single people start to mess with their pared-off counter parts.

We tell them things that really only applied to our past relationship. People don’t need to be reminded that people cheat. What they need is a friend to just lesson them. There were moments in every relationship that things go bad.

But single people so easily forget that sometimes things go well, too. Everyone should be proud of the scars they have gotten in past relationships, because you survived and you did learn, but the only important things are what you’ve learned about yourself.

It is in these important lessons that really only have applications to the next time you go on a date or decide that you actually love someone. Where it doesn’t apply is in the lives of others — you will only make things worse for them trying to compare to your past relationships.

One of the most terrible things to happen is for your friend to follow through with your advice. It could be one of the worst mistakes that they ever make. This is how you lose friends and start fights.

So far the best thing that I can offer people is to learn how to keep things to yourself and just be there for people and nothing more.


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