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Wednesday, December 6, 2023

Life + Arts

Playing the game: mastering pickup lines

If there’s anything that’s likely to go awry when talking to someone, it’s the use of the pickup line —where most people go wrong in their smooth-talking pursuits is in the first two to five minutes of interaction. If you haven’t mastered the art of the flirt — and there are very few that have — here are a few pointers on how to keep that person from rejecting you as soon as you open conversation with them.

Actions speak louder than words

First and foremost, it’s important to know what they’re communicating to you without saying anything. This is one of the biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to pick someone up and it is going to save you a lot of time if you learn to take a hint. Whether they’re interested or not, body language should tell you exactly what you need to know. If they’re not impressed, you might be able to see them looking for a way out of the conversation — literally. He or she might ask for the time, check their cell phone and avoid eye contact as much as possible. They will likely also be short in response to your attempts to strike up conversation.

However, if luck is on your side, they’ll be physically engaged in the conversation, meaning their shoulders will be open instead of closing their torso off. They might also talk with their hands and bat their eyelashes, which happens to be the oldest trick in the book.

Subtlety is the key

Avoid looking like a jerk when you’re trying to win their affection. Even if it’s just for a night, there’s no need to be pretentious or arrogant — this is the second-biggest mistake people make. No matter how big your ego might be, talking yourself up will almost always be a turnoff to others, not to mention that it leaves you with a lot to live up to if you’re successful (though you probably won’t be).

That being said, don’t talk to someone like you’re God’s gift to mankind. Your efforts will be exponentially more effective if you talk to them as though he or she is a human being. If you can’t figure out if your method is going to work, ask yourself if you’d give someone a chance if they were saying the same things to you. If the answer is no, you might need to change up your game plan.

Another part of this is originality — spouting off something that’s been used before and entirely cliché is only going to work about 17 percent of the time. However, if this is the only way you know how to communicate with the people you’re interested in, at least try to make it sound like you didn’t find it in a Google search for pickup lines.

Doing ‘the creep’ only works if you’re on The Lonely Island

Last but not least, don’t be a creep. If you get the sense that he or she is not interested, don’t force yourself on them.

Don’t try to take them out or make further plans if they’re not responsive to your techniques in the first 10 or 15 minutes, though you should get a sense of their level of interest in the first two to five minutes.

The biggest mistake you can make is repeatedly asking him or her to go out with you if they deny you and no positive body language has been seen.

It is always best to be modest and hope that your charm will be enough to swing taking them out on a date. But if they say no, there’s nothing you can do but be respectful and hope they see the light.

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