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Thursday, June 30, 2022

Staff Editorial

Santorum pulls out of Republican primary


Rick Santorum pulled out of the Republican presidential primary on Tuesday — and not a moment too soon. If he had stayed in any longer, he would have had to further deal with the consequences of continuing his charade of a campaign. However, this many weeks in, Santorum was getting quite close to the RNC delivery room. One has to wonder if it was immoral of him to play with his supporters for so long before aborting the mission.

“We made a decision to get into this race at our kitchen table, against all the odds,” said Santorum during an address in Gettysburg, Pa., “We made a decision over the weekend that while this presidential race is over for me, and we will suspend our campaign effective today, we are not done fighting,”

Well, Rick, we’re not done fighting either. We will continue to fight for your right to continue saying and doing ridiculous things — thereby providing the media with plenty of fodder.

We refuse to give up our daily helpings of Rick Santorum slam-fests served to us so willingly by Jezebel.com, The Daily Beast, The Huffington Post and so many others.

We will fight to keep you in the spotlight, fight to allow you to continue calling President Obama a “snob,” and anyone who you don’t understand a pervert.

We loved your Gettysburg address, even if there were four score and seven things that made it worse than the original. But that’s why we like you, Rick. We love you for your faults. We love you for your ability to stay in a primary for this long without once saying something logical.

Don’t disappear entirely or we’re going to be stuck with quarter horse riding, Swiss bank account holding, stiff-haired Mitt Romney. He’s fun, but not as much as you are Rick.

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