Parking space reserved for Statue of Four Lies

Parking proposes a predicament for our Tier One university and we must figure out how to allow proper commuting on a commuter campus.

Here’s how: you introduce commuting students to the Statue of Four Lies.

Students, meet the memorial sitting across from Cougar Village I. The concrete is fading. On a circular enclave between a cloud of smokers and a patchwork quilt of half-trees, the statue has been positioned so randomly on the map that unless you have a reason to be there, you certainly won’t be. And you certainly won’t stay. As a matter of fact, you probably didn’t even know it existed.

But here’s your reason: when you’re viewing the Statue of Four Lies, you become privy to the Statue of Four Lies’ parking space. On a campus overwhelmed by inadequate vehicle disposal, there is an actual parking space for a statue hardly anyone knows about, marked with a sign that even says “Reserved: Statue of Four Lies Parking Only.” No one knows why. What a select few do know is that it’s always up for grabs.

There’s a thirty-minute time limit, but on some mornings that’s a risk you’re prepared to take. Unless UH parking officials have been given a reason to, they don’t check it.

So lounge a little later in bed. Apply that extra layer of makeup. Skip the highway, indulge in breakfast and do so knowing that when you show up late, there will have been at least one more empty parking space on campus that you hadn’t known about.

Senior staff columnist Bryan Washington is an English junior and may be reached at [email protected]