Five years ago, the pound symbol was mostly used to slowly move through annoying voice recording menus or to precede a number. Now the pound symbol has taken on a different and much darker role. This seemingly innocuous symbol has now transformed into the hashtag — a symbol of all that is evil in social media.
In case you have been lucky enough to bypass this growing trend and have no idea what I am referring to, run away now — it’s too late for the rest of us.
Hashtags have become a means of communication within the world of social media, causing me to lose faith in humanity. Originally confined to places like Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr and Facebook, hashtags have now infiltrated the everyday world. One doesn’t even need to get on the Internet to have their mind molested with this ridiculousness.
Some people not only use the word “hashtag” in everyday conversations (for example: That concert was hashtag awesome!), but some genius pioneers will also form the hashtag symbol by taking the index and middle fingers of both their hands and crossing them in a perpendicular fashion.
With young adults’ excessive use of this trend, to not expect advertising companies to take notice would be naïve. Television shows, restaurants and advertising companies have come to the realization that hashtags might be here to stay, causing them to be seen in marketing campaigns and commercials.
It’s not purely hashtags’ existence that my hate stems from. It is the overuse of these tick-tack-toe-looking symbols. Guys and girls alike use this symbol to unnecessarily tell the world that they are #FeelingSuperSwaggy.
Imagine a picture of a girl: camera poised slightly above her head to eliminate any possibility of a double chin and also to make sure she is able to show an inappropriate amount of skin. She is grinning at the camera, and the caption reads “Live each day like it’s your last” with a slew of emoticons following it.
Cue the hashtags: #eyes #lips #smile #teeth #ears #hair #skin #StraightHair #BlondeHair #BlueEyes #TellMeImPretty #EveryoneLovesMe #HatersGonnaHate #swag #YOLO #InnerBeauty #ILoveHashtags
While the group of men who use hashtags is considerably smaller than the group of women, any amount of hashtagging is too much. I have noticed that the guys who usually hashtag the most are the ones who live fit lifestyles. If you want to post a mirror picture of yourself at the gym, then that is your prerogative. Although when your single syllable hashtags take up more space than your picture — you might have a problem.
Envision a picture of a guy standing in front of a wall of mirrors with gym equipment surrounding him. It seems as if he is holding his breath as he attempts to flex every single muscle in his body at the same exact time. His T-shirt has the words “JUST DO IT” on the front.
Cue the hastags: #gym #GymFlow #sweat #gain #work #weights #HatersGonnaHate #flex #protein #muscles #LookAtMyMuscles #AreYouLookingAtMyMuscles #growth #quads #triceps #abs #washboard #ThisIsWhyITookAnatomyInHighSchool #GainzForDayz
I can’t even make myself continue — I think I’m giving myself a headache.
If these people were able to string a series of words together into a conducive sentence instead of these narcissistic fragments, they might actually grow up to be fully functioning human beings. It seems that these hashtag enthusiasts can find anything to make a hashtag out of, so maybe if they spent less time fishing for “likes,” they could perhaps find their brain and dignity.
Senior staff columnist Kelly Schafler is a print journalism junior and may be reached at [email protected]
