To the frustrated student dealing with family troubles

Dear Frustrated,

Family is both great to have and frustrating to deal with. You have gone your entire life dependent upon them for advice, love and financial support. However, now that you are in college and, more importantly, on your own, some of these areas of your life have changed.

Sure, they may still pay for college, or maybe not, but now you have friends, maybe a partner and people all around you to interact with and create a new life with. It may be easy for you to transition, but for your family, it may not. They are losing something and you are gaining it. You have been a major part of their life for so long, and now you are trying to start one of your own. It is hard for them to let go.

The best advice I can offer you is first to be patient. If you try to be angry at them, you’re not just hurting them; you’re hurting yourself. You have to stay patient in the fact that things will improve. Second, talk to them about how you feel. It may seem silly, but express that you’re trying to have your own life, and although you have appreciated everything they’ve done, you need them to allow you that opportunity to make your own mistakes. They should trust that they have done a great job in teaching you how to make decisions.

The final advice I can offer is for you to just keep moving forward. The last thing you want to do is alienate yourself from them, but you also should not focus on them. Continue to live your own life. Actions speak louder than words, and showing them that you can have your own life will help them see that. It’s time for them to let you prove that they have done a great job at raising you. Good luck, and I hope that your frustrations fade away.

Yours truly,

Ryan

Questions and letters may be submitted to [email protected]

Tags: Advice, family, Stress