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Kelly’s Korner: Staying safe during Spring Break

After a stressful week of wordy essays, confusing tests and obnoxious group projects, it’s here. Spring Break is cautiously emerging from behind the overcast and chilling air and is attempting to brighten our break with legitimate sunshine.

During the following week, UH students will be found rushing off to warmer destinations, lazily escaping into the confines of their bedsheets and beginning to study for the following week.

For the students who are rushing off to warmer destinations — such as a beach crowded with intoxicated young adults and protesting radicals — be safe out there.

I am aware that parents probably warn their children of the dangers of these destinations enough, but I still feel the need to reiterate them.

I’m not suggesting forgoing these adventures, but I am suggesting being responsible, safe and realistic about it.

Beer bongs are filled with the saliva and the desperation of others: During Spring Break, some people believe it to be a good idea to use the beer funnels of strangers. Let me clarify: you do not know these people. You do not know the multitude of places their mouths have been — within the last day — so trusting their funnel is not wise. It may seem like a free way to guzzle cheap beer into your pie hole, but it’s also a free way to get herpes.

Beads do not define your worth: The plethora of colorful globules that hang about the necks of Spring Breakers may seem as special as the hair of a magical unicorn, but these multicolored droplets are a lie. They are actually $1 plastic beads that one can buy at any dollar store.

Censor yourself: If you are a free spirit who is feels the need to free yourself from your swimsuit, remember media magic. There is not a legitimate black rectangular box with the word “CENSORED” that will be strategically placed over the eyes of beachgoers. Also, there is no box that will shield you from the memories of haunting mistakes.

Friends do not let friends run off: I don’t have the slightest care whether the man with the Ray-Bans looks just like Michael Fassbender — do not scamper off without every friend in the group. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but it is not safe at all. Keep a watchful eye on loved ones, even if your eyes are slightly wavering due to alcoholic beverages. Don’t let inebriation be an excuse.

Don’t take drinks from strangers: Parents are known to preach on this to their teenage children. However, this idea is made more prominent when drinks and spirits are being freely poured. Sometimes, what is being poured into your mouth isn’t even identified.

Monitor alcohol intake: Binge drinking is one of the most dangerous aspects of Spring Break. It may seem like a fun idea to drink your weight in beverages that taste like body fluids, but it’s unhealthy and risky.

Ultimately, use your best judgment, because we live in a crazy, dangerous, exciting, dark and unexpected world. There are numerous stories of college students disappearing while escaping from the stresses of everyday life.

Hearing about Reny Jose, the Rice student who went missing while celebrating Spring Break on March 4 in Panama City Beach, Fla., makes one realize how easy it is for a carefree experience to turn dangerous.

As for Jose, I hope he is found and returned to his family safely.

Senior staff writer Kelly Schafler is a print journalism major and may be reached at [email protected]

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