Don’t overthink it: Thoughts about thoughts during sex
Discussing sex with many students showed people are more concerned with performance and appearance than with pleasure.
Enjoy the moment
People tend to focus more on making sure what they are doing is right rather than on enjoyment when it comes to sexual or romantic interactions. During sex, a person is generally more concerned about whether what they’re doing is right, doubting their ability to please the other. Sex becomes less enjoyable if a participant can’t shake the idea of doing it wrong, and people are increasingly fearful of letting someone down rather than enjoying the moment for what it is.
It’s not about the looks
Sex isn’t all about what someone looks like before, during or after, but nevertheless it is common to question one’s personal appearance in the bedroom. Guys worry about their muscles or lack thereof; girls think back to if they shaved that morning — it’s becoming more difficult for two people to feel comfortable in their own skin. Harkening back to the enjoyment of sexual and romantic activities, you can’t enjoy what you’re doing unless you clear your mind of negative thoughts and anxieties.
Now, this isn’t to say that someone shouldn’t take care of himself when it comes to personal hygiene, but ease up on self-criticism. Sexual and other romantic activities should be a time where two people can enjoy themselves together instead of worrying whether they are measuring up to some unwritten rules or imaginary standards.