Satire: Put away the UFO conspiracies
E.T.? Is that you? Are you phoning us with that ominous streak of light on the San Diego sky that may or may not be the harbinger of an alien apocalypse?
In actuality, it was a Trident II D5 unarmed missile test at sea off the coast of southern California, sent by the Navy Strategic Systems Programs in the Pacific Test Range.
It was just one experiment in an ongoing process, definitely not a UFO.
No biggie. It’s just the government conducting an experiment no one knew about, leading to the social media eruption of #UFO. A public warning before the launch would’ve been nice: “Dear citizens, don’t be alarmed if you see a comet-like flare in the sky. We are conducing a conspicuous missile test.”
It has to be a cover-up. The government must be withholding information about aliens.
That’s what the government wants you to think. It wants you to cry “aliens.”
It wants to distract the public with science fiction extraterrestrial-like fantasies. As long as extraterrestrial beings are the scapegoat, it can minimize its own culpability in the scare.
As a result, the public speculations downplay the experiment in such a visible proximity that citizens would have a reason to panic.
The public did the work for the government. The government really didn’t have to spread the alien rumors. It left it to the public’s overactive imagination and passed the popcorn, so when it clarified “it’s just a test,” it felt less responsible for spooking the public.
The government prefer to frame E.T. before accepting public disgruntlement over the lack of UFO warning.
Opinion columnist Caroline Cao is a creative writing and media production senior and may be reached at [email protected]