Judge Dredd has authority over all things powerful and manly and is not limited merely to the University of Houston. His realm extends over everything sports related in the continent of North America. To further establish his domain, Judge Dredd has created power rankings for Conference USA.
Rice (3-2, 2-0 C-USA)
This is not a joke, because Judge Dredd has no sense of humor. He killed it with his laser eyes to make room for more awesomeness. The Owls’ only two losses of the season have come against No. 5 Texas and No. 19 Vanderbilt, which sits atop the SEC East standings. Seniors quarterback Chase Clement and wide receiver Jaret Dillard make the best office duo in the country. Rice’s defense may not be anything to shout about, but C-USA is not exactly known for its smash-mouth style of play.
ECU (3-2, 1-1 C-USA)
Yeah, this is the same team the Cougars beat the hell out of. Don’t question Judge Dredd. You still have to give this team the benefit of the doubt because of its body of work starting this season (wins over West Virginia and Virginia). However, if Judge Dredd ever sees PeeDee the Purple Pirate dancing around to techno music (this really happened Saturday) before a game again, ECU will not crack to top three as long as Judge Dredd is alive. Keep in mind that Judge Dredd is immortal.
Houston (2-3, 1-0 C-USA)
The Cougars looked unstoppable in their 41-24 blowout over East Carolina on Saturday, even with five turnovers. It was a statement game for a defense that held then No.-23 ECU to 21 points and 275 yards of total offense. Sophomore quarterback Case Keenum and the Cougar offense dominated the Pirates for 622 yards to open up conference play with a bang. This team, however, underachieved against teams like Colorado State, Oklahoma State and Air Force. Once it cracks .500, UH might get the No. 2 spot.
Tulsa (4-0, 1-0 C-USA)
The Golden Hurricane has breezed through its first four opponents to remain the only undefeated team in C-USA, but when those teams are UAB, North Texas, New Mexico and Central Arkansas, points for style will not be awarded.
Marshall (3-2, 2-0 C-USA)
The Thundering Herd could make a case that because they are 2-0 in C-USA, they should be higher up in the JDSA C-USA Power Rankings, but they don’t have the gall to question Judge Dredd’s authority. Plus, they lost to Illinois State. Exactly. Judge Dredd has never heard of Illinois State either.
Tulane (2-2, 1-1 C-USA)
When you’re sitting in your Chevy and you feel something heavy – Tulane Green Wave, Tulane Green Wave.
UTEP (1-3, 1-0 C-USA)
This team needs to find a way to play defense fast.
Southern Miss (2-2, 0-1 C-USA)
The Golden Eagles will look to climb the rankings with a winnable game against the Miners.
UCF (1-3, 0-1 C-USA)
The Golden Knights had tough losses against No. 10 South Florida a nd Boston College before UTEP beat the living daylights out of them to open C-USA play.
UAB (1-4, 0-1 C-USA)
This young team should move up in the rankings once it gets some more experience under its belt.
Memphis (2-3, 0-2 C-USA)
Keenum, senior offensive lineman SirVincent Rogers and redshirt freshman receiver Patrick Edwards could challenge the Tigers to a game. Judge Dredd would put his money on the Cougar Trio.
SMU (1-4, 0-2 C-USA)
June Jones is finding out that everything really is bigger in Texas – even the butt kickings.
