It’s almost summer again, which means it’s time for traditional American pastimes such as baseball, three-legged races, pie-eating contests and applying for last-minute financial aid.
With the rapid expansion of scholarships and financial aid availible to college students, the past few years have been exciting times for students.
The federal and state governments are so eager to educate the American populace that most students are now paying less for a semester at a reputable university than their monthly dental floss expenditure.
UH is no exception, offering a host of options through the Office of Scholarships and Financial Aid to ease the financial burden of attending college.’
‘Financial aid,’ of course, is a phrase that originates from the Greek – financial meaning ‘a good way,’ and aid meaning ‘to have someone else pay for your education.’
The traditional genesis of the search for financial assistance is through the Free Application for Federal Student Aid.’
The FAFSA application is a series of questions pertaining to various aspects of a student’s income including lifestyle, political preference and hair color. The responses are fed into an intricate and complex algorithm that informs the applicant they have filled out numerous sections of their application incorrectly.
The application is critical in assessing need and determining where the limited supply of aid will go.’
For instance, the application shrewdly inquires as to the applicant’s yearly net income, total number of household servants, estimated number of yachts per family member and other items that eliminate those who are not in need of financial aid, such as Saudi princes and children of NBA stars.
After the FAFSA has determined a student’s eligibility, this information is sent to specific universities such as UH, which, after a complex and multifaceted auditing process, inform the student they have filled out numerous sections of his application incorrectly.
UH offers many scholarships’ for specific students for everything from being born in a foreign country to enduring the first four years of being an accounting major.’
The Office of Scholarships and Financial Aid Web site, http://www.uh.edu/financial/undergraduate/types-aid/scholarships/index.php, helpfully lists many of those scholarships with brief descriptions underneath links that work as often as 40 percent of the time.’
They also provide a Web site called ‘Financial Aid TV,’ which can be found at http://universityofhoustonfinancialaidtv.com. Attractive talking heads who may or may not be actual UH students explain the ins and outs of loans and scholarships slowly and precisely, as though they were talking to obstinate and dim-witted elementary school students.
UH was also a recipient of an anonymous donation of $7 million, to be used exclusively for student scholarships.’
While the donation was, of course, anonymous, it is fun to imagine it was given by prominent rapper and former student Lil’ Wayne. However, it is unlikely he would have chosen to remain anonymous if he had given a large sum of money to anyone, since he cannot even complete a single verse of a rap song without saying his own name four or five dozen times.
UH President Renu Khator has initiated a plan to entice alumni and other donors to match that donation piece by piece. Up to $14 million dollars could be available in student aid during the next few years, although only to the handful of students who managed to fill out their FAFSA correctly.
