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Friday, December 1, 2023

Life + Arts

Six ways to ruin a promising first date

There are a few things to avoid when you’re going out on the first date with someone new. Keep your cool by following these six guidelines. |

There will always be things that thwart your attempt to share the perfect evening with someone. Whether it’s a minor setback or a huge problem, something is bound to go wrong. Murphy’s Law puts it best — “Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong,” and dating certainly isn’t the exception to this rule.

Some things can’t be prevented — like having car trouble or being late because you get stuck in unexpected traffic — but here are six date-ruining things that can easily be avoided.

Don’t order too many drinks.

First, you shouldn’t order a drink unless your partner orders one too. At the very least, think about how pricey drinks can get depending on the venue you’re at. It is also important that you don’t get so intoxicated that you can’t stand or form coherent sentences. You never want to make a fool of yourself and leave a bad impression on the first date. If you get too rowdy, you probably won’t get another call from that person.

Don’t talk about marriage, meeting each others’ families or naming children.

These conversations are guaranteed to sabotage your date. Doing this is jumping the gun by a long shot — if you’re going to talk about it at all, at least wait until the fifth or sixth date to do so. I can’t actually find a single good reason to bring these things up in a first date-conversation. Just don’t do it. Ever.

Don’t dedicate your “couple song.”

Again, this should be decided when the time is right, which isn’t usually on the first date. Your date will probably find this more creepy than endearing. Don’t make the mistake of thinking too far into things so soon.

Don’t be too flashy or pretentious.

This is a common mistake. Don’t wear too much cologne; don’t drop the name of the designer of your shoes and it’s not necessary to buy the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu — especially as a college student. This comes off a bit pretentious, which could cause your mate to be reluctant to say yes if and when you ask them out again.

Don’t talk about your ex.

This is arguably the cardinal rule of first dates. If things between you and your ex had worked out, you obviously wouldn’t be on a date with someone new. It will seem as though you’re not quite over your ex yet, and it is a definite turn off. Refrain from talking about why that relationship failed, and focus on enjoying your date. It would also be smart to avoid talking about the opposite sex at all. It might seem like you’re implying that you’re wanted by all, and arrogance is never attractive.

Don’t start planning your next date.

At the end of your first date, you don’t know how they feel about the experience. Just because you had a great time and are under the impression that things with this person are definitely going somewhere, don’t assume that they feel that way as well. Don’t pressure them into making a decision; they need just as much time as you do to decide whether the date was enjoyable or not.

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