Like a skinny rooster with no spurs, Houston’s own Big Red Cock is a lot of talk with little game. This restaurant, excuse me, “Gastro-Pub,” has little to show for all its flash.
I usually write about joints that give good eats for less than $15, but this place is overpriced and proves to be a disappointment. A friend of mine, whose taste I value, took me to this restaurant on a recommendation. We shared a meal that rang up at $50, with beer. Now, that’s a fair price for some serious dining on a college budget. However, this place only left a hole in my pocket and a nasty feeling of regret in my stomach.
We started out with the macaroni and cheese, which they serve in different guises for every day of the week. Maybe it was simply because the god of good eats was frowning upon our eagerness for a lavish meal, but the macaroni and cheese was awful. It was more like some sort of macaroni and queso. I mean, it tasted, felt, and looked like the cheese they were using was the queso from a can that is poured over tortilla chips at baseball games.
It even had the taste of cheap metal cans. Whatever it was, it was not at all a delight for the taste buds. I should mention that this sweet disgust rang up at $10. The chef’s salad with chicken and homemade ranch sauce was adequate in its quantity, but was rather dry and ho-hum for all its grandeur.
I ordered a burger with something called a ham roll, a fried egg, and some refrigerated tomato slices on top. Tomato, it should be known, should never, under any circumstances, be refrigerated. It changes the chemistry and ruins the flavor, if there is any to begin with, given our modern grocery set-up. The egg, I must say, was perfectly cooked to a runny goodness, however.
The mysterious ham roll was, of course, overstated: a big piece of cheap-tasting ham folded on top of the challah bun. Religious faux pas aside, the bread may have been blessed, but the meats were not. And the entire thing was damp. Maybe their burger meat had more than 20 percent fat in it — either way, it was low-grade and it showed.
Now, the beer we enjoyed was delicious and cold coming from the tap, as well as being fair-priced. I would recommend this as a good place for a fairly priced beer, if only their music weren’t blaring reminders of yesterday’s forgotten radio singles. This restaurant may be appropriately named, but it is the kind that none of us want to be around.
