Kelly Schafler" />
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Tuesday, October 3, 2023


Cougar do’s and don’ts

Brace yourselves, Cougars; Fall 2013 is here. On a campus filled with more than 40,000 uniquely awesome students who all agree that trying to find a place to park is a struggle and that local squirrels are crazy, life is never boring.

With the start of this new semester at UH comes the new set of classes and a new set of day-to-day concerns. Never fear; I am here to address some of these grievances and prepare you for what is to come.

Do Not: Show up to the parking lots expecting to magically find the perfect parking spot. Realistically, the most efficient option is harmlessly stalking someone who is walking back to their car — notice I said harmlessly. So that we don’t have a misunderstanding, the definition of “harmless stalking” is rolling down your window and politely asking if the student is leaving. If harmlessly stalking is not your forte, try getting to campus around 8 a.m. — the parking options are much greater than they will be two hours later: nonexistent.

Do Not: Be naïve enough to believe that a visit to financial aid will be a brief one. Sitting in the financial aid office is the equivalent of waiting for your name to be called by the monotonous teacher in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Bueller is not here, move on and talk to me about my college money.

Do Not: Show up late to a crowded auditorium classroom and try to sit in the middle of the row without first anticipating some dirty looks. This is a civilized society. There are rules. Trying to wedge past another student is obnoxious, and knocking your butt against other students’ flip-down desks is awkward. Find an aisle seat or sit on the floor, please.

Do Not: Bring food to class on the first day. There is nothing more embarrassing than being made an example of what not to do by the professor. When the professor is explaining the rules of the classroom and points out that food is not allowed, the delicious treat you are eating starts to feel like a neon sign that says, ‘Look, I have food. And it’s noisy food, too.’

Do Not: Believe that going to the UH bookstore or Textbook Brokers during the first week of school is an easy feat. It will be crowded, and your bank account after the hour-long wait to pay for your supplies will be depressing.

Lastly, here is something important to remember. Do show school spirit. To the students who have the audacity to wear opposing school’s T-shirts, especially on Fridays: How dare you, sir. Go Coogs.

Opinion columnist Kelly Schafler is a print journalism junior and may be reached at [email protected].

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