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Friday, May 14, 2021


Kelly’s Korner: Valentine’s Day left without staying for breakfast

Valentine’s Day, the universal day of love, cheap chocolates and excessive drinking, has now disappeared beneath piles of CVS teddy bears on their last stitching. That means you survived the blind dates, the unrequited love for a best friend and the entirety of disgustingly adorable PDA.

Whether you awoke this morning next to a special someone or alone in your bed with the pillow damp with your forever-alone tears, we all feel the let-down of knowing that the excuse to inhale that much chocolate is unavailable until next Valentine’s Day.

Regardless of whether you enjoyed spending the evening with your lovely significant other or your lovely Netflix account, I’m sure there were some expectations of the night that weren’t executed exactly as hoped.

Ultimately, there is too much weight placed on this single date. Couples attempt to showcase their love with enormous inflatable hearts, expensive jewelry and extravagant dates instead of just focusing on being with the person they care about.

Ashamedly, it is women who typically draw the expectations of this day from romantic comedies and reality television shows.

Valentine’s Day seems to be the equivalent of the reality television show “The Bachelor.” Everything special is pushed into these excessive and surreal activities; however, after the cameras stop rolling, most of the participants are left dirt-poor and without an engagement ring.

Expectation of dinner: Bachelor showed up in gorgeously tailored attire. A limo that had been rented purely for last night whisks you and the Bachelor away to a candlelit dinner, tablecloth adorned with red roses with a sprig of lavender as the centerpiece. A quartet performed quietly in the corner.

Reality: Date arrived in a button-down shirt half-tucked into his waistband. The car door was opened for you after standing pointedly outside without touching the handle. Valentine’s dinner at Chili’s — the table was made of intricately painted tiles.

Expectation of jewelry: The debonair Bachelor gazed into your eyes from across the table. He clapped his hands before a golden Labrador padded over to the table. Of course, the dog was the most beautiful beast you had ever laid eyes on. From this collar, the Bachelor disconnected a box to reveal a gorgeously decorated diamond studded something-or-another that you will accidently lose within a month’s time.

Reality: The Date rustled into his pockets. He proceeded to bring out a particle of lint, stray pennies and a piece of bubble gum. He gingerly placed the gum into your hands for safe keeping. Finally, he found what he was searching for – his iPhone. The Date shared hilarious YouTube videos while you awaited the food.

Expectation of chocolate: Drug store chocolate? Might as well have said chocolate made from asphalt. Bachelor made sure your Valentine’s Day chocolate was imported. Not only was it imported, but he had the box customized so that not a single fruity crème-filled chocolate would be found.

Reality: Drug store chocolate? You didn’t actually care where it came from — one does not turn down free chocolate. You and the Date took bites of each assorted piece, discovering that 60 percent of them taste like death.

Expectation of being romantic: Bachelor presents you with a song written, composed, sung and birthed by him. It is his baby – his love – and it was conceived for you alone.

Reality: The Date told you how beautiful you looked.

When it comes down to it, the high expectations of Valentine’s Day need to be put to rest. There is nothing wrong with the reality of it; however, if one lives in a media-driven world, she will be sorely disappointed.

Let us make next year’s Valentine’s Day more of a day when one is concerned about who they are spending the day with, not with what tacky, overstuffed bear will ultimately be shoved into the depths of the closet.

Senior staff columnist Kelly Schafler is a print journalism junior and may be reached at [email protected]

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