Taking the taboo out of abstinence
Sexual abstinence is “outdated” and “something of the past,” said a high school teacher while lecturing her health class, according to the Matt Walsh Blog.
During a high school sex education lesson, a teacher had reportedly expressed to her students that restraining from sex is old-fashioned and “unrealistic.” Jeremy is a high school student who was a part of a class that had been asked by the teacher how many of the students were sexually active.
Jeremy reported this situation to 27-year-old radio host, blogger, husband and father of two Matt Walsh in an advice-seeking email. Jeremy questioned whether he was weird and whether his wish to refrain from sex until marriage was only a dream and not a feasible reality at all.
Like Jeremy, many young individuals are told that abstinence is a thing of the past.
From countless media outlets, such as movies, photographs and music lyrics, the pressure of having premarital sex seems to be deeply embedded in today’s society.
“I believe that saving yourself for marriage is actually something that is very possible to do,” said Sandra Glynn, 56, in an interview with The Daily Cougar.
Glynn said she has one daughter and four stepchildren, so she felt that she knew quite a bit about the world today and the pressures that it can have on youths and their positions on premarital sex.
Glynn reflected on her upbringing and spoke about a time when sexual information was not available in certain ways, such as cartoons. As a result, Glynn explained how it was easier for parents to monitor what sort of information their children were exposed to.
Glynn spoke about a time when parents could leave their children watching cartons and be comfortable knowing that no sexual activities would be revealed, not even an allusion to sexual activities.
“No one has ever been caught being curious about something they knew absolutely nothing about,” Glynn said. “It’s the curiosity that killed the cat.”
Communications senior Aclesia Caraway shared her experiences and the effect college life had on her decisions.
“My first year in college, premarital sex was all around me,” Caraway said. “I’ve even partaken in premarital sex myself.”
She expressed that she fell into this habit in order to fill a void that she felt during her adolescence. Caraway also revealed that she has be abstinent for the last three years.
“It wasn’t until I found Christ that had given me the strength to withstand from premarital sex,” she said.
Caraway spoke about the fulfillment that Christianity had given her. She also mentioned that regardless of one’s religion or lack thereof, the choice not to have sex can be made.
“Do understand that I believe it is very difficult in today’s society not to have sex, but having a solid foundation behind your reasons only makes it a bit easier,” she said. “Mine just so happen to be religious reasons.”
Other individuals whom I interviewed conveyed other reasons for not having premarital sex in addition to their religious beliefs.
Health communication senior Mayowa Amibaba spoke about health being one of a few reasons she doesn’t agree with sex before marriage. Amibaba also talked about how many individuals only began to have sex at early ages before marriage because of their surroundings.
After elaborating on her thesis, she clarified that youths commonly fall subject to things in life only because they are trying so desperately to fit in.
“As humans, I believe that we want to feel needed, loved and even liked,” Amibaba said, “even if we have to do things that we sometimes don’t quite understand.”
Amibaba felt that many young individuals are actually clueless to the many sexually transmitted diseases that a person can transmit durng intercourse. Due to this ignorance, many people begin to have sex at a young age. She believed this to be the root of the issue.
She said she believes sex is like a drug. Once you begin having sex, it is very hard to stop for most people, because you have now experienced the feeling it can create.
Like Amibaba, mechanical engineering junior Joseph Babalola spoke about being introduced to sex but later trying to abstain from the pleasures.
He shared with me that he has performed and received sexual favors from numerous partners. He believed it is hard to live in this day and age without becoming tempted by society, but it was even harder after knowing the feelings that sexual activities grant individuals while trying to abstain from these same activities.
“I think the best preventative from having babies and also sexually transmitted diseases is to not have sex at all,” Babalola said. “At least not until marriage, I mean.”
Not having sex until after marriage doesn’t guarantee that you won’t get a sexually transmitted disease, but it will reduce the possibility. I also believe that this world has corrupted the actual meaning of sex. In today’s society, people are taught that sex is a very casual aspect of life. But in reality, I believe that sex is a very sacred gift to God that should not be performed outside of marriage.
I would tell Jeremy — the high school student who wrote to Matt Walsh — that yes, he is weird and different, but nothing is wrong with that. Jeremy is weird and different in a very good way. Nothing is wrong with Jeremy’s thoughts and understandings about sex. It’s the rest of the world that is corrupted.
I was raised in a Christian home, and I have fallen victim to the pressure of society in regard to premarital sex. If I could go back and be more like Jeremy, I would with no regret.
Opinion columnist Derail Texada is a broadcast journalism junior and may be reached at [email protected]