Samuel Pichowsky" />
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Tuesday, September 26, 2023


Satire: Clinton unfazed by Sanders’ winning streak

In the week before the New York primary, Hillary Clinton has been seen carelessly sipping a martini on a lawn chair watching Netflix in her campaign tour bus. The Democratic presidential front-runner assured her campaign staff that everything was under control after eight primary losses. Her supporters at UH, however, are concerned that something is wrong.

“She’s just not the same anymore after Michigan,” political science senior Carlos Ortiz said. “I think that’s when this ‘carefree’ Hillary behavior really began. She says she has the nomination in the bag, and I believe her. However, you got to at least show you’re interested.”

After a string of victories for Democratic rival Bernie Sanders, it seems only natural that Hillary should be carefree. After all, there is no need to panic over a 70-something-year-old socialist who has won nearly every state in the last two weeks. Even he is taken aback by the nonchalant behavior from Secretary Clinton.

“I was quite surprised, yes, when I saw her wearing sunglasses taking selfies with her staff,” Bernie Sanders said. “I would think she would at least go through desperate lengths to win the state she was a senator for.”

One would think that Secretary Clinton would try at least a little harder to win New York, but I for one am not surprised. Hillary is essentially the natural New Yorker … from Chicago. She should not have to worry over the state that has already elected her twice for senator.

She has even lazily replied to these concerns when asked about them.

“It’s whateves,” Clinton said.

Hillary Clinton shouldn’t have to worry about anything. Just because the momentum seems to be on her rival’s side at this time does not indicate that it’ll be a close primary in New York. Even if she fails to win New York, that doesn’t mean that she’ll fail to unite the party should she get the nomination. It only means that she failed to garner the support from the state she represented.

Opinion columnist Samuel Pichowsky is a political science sophomore and may be reached at [email protected]


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