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Monday, October 26, 2020

Opinion

Satire: Trump-appointed Treasury Secretary to place Gary Busey on one dollar bill


Upon being confirmed by Congress, new Secretary of the Treasury Gene Simmons announced his intentions to replace the one-dollar bill’s image of George Washington with A-list Hollywood actor Gary Busey.

“It is with great pleasure that I grace our most used piece of currency with an important actor of democracy that has played a significant role in our nation’s history,” Simmons said. “Gary Busey is and will always be the face of an America made great again.”

Surprisingly, this change of currency has been far less controversial than the replacement of Andrew Jackson with Harriett Tubman on the twenty-dollar bill during President Barack Obama’s presidency. This could be explained by the fact that the nation was crazy enough to elect Donald Trump in the first place.

“When they replaced President Jackson, I was horrified,” finance sophomore Blake Belton said. “That president was the first to make this nation into a democracy. It’s a great thing that they’re honoring Gary Busey for his acting role in America’s history.”

While others may be fine with Gary Busey being the new face of the one-dollar bill, I myself am annoyed.

There are literally hundreds of other actors they could’ve chosen for the one-dollar bill. Tom Cruise has easily had more of an impact with American history than Gary Busey.

Opinion columnist Samuel Pichowsky and may be reached at [email protected]

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