Lily Huynh/The Cougar
Being in one’s twenties is arguably one of the messiest parts of life. Navigating adulthood, college, potential careers and other changes are overwhelming. This era is further complicated when it’s shared with a romantic partner.
Love in early adulthood looks different for everyone. Some are hung up on their high school ex while others are planning to walk down the aisle. Each path has its struggles, and it is important to refrain from judging others and letting them judge you, too harshly.
Romance is a beautiful thing that gets muddied with expectations, of which young people have many. From Hollywood movies to romance novels, people have learned to dream of a partner that caters to their every need. Unfortunately, people are not one-dimensional beings who exist only to satisfy their significant other.
Fictional stories often gloss over hard times such as conflicting schedules, values and life plans. If they are mentioned, they are resolved by the end of the story and normalize a rare happy ending.
The twenties are the decade of self-exploration and growth. An interest at twenty-one may be boring by twenty-three. Likewise, the future one envisions after graduating college may starkly contrast their goals as one approaches thirty.
These changes can feel liberating, individually, but straining to a shared connection. Outgrowing a partner is common and might be for the better, and relying on support from others and sharing one’s heartbreak can help ease sadness.
Whether single or taken, bonds outside of romantic partners are essential. Not only are they a safety measure, but they also create a stronger sense of well-being.
Friendships serve as another space to share memories, feelings and love. One’s love for their friend, though, can create unfavorable opinions towards their friend’s significant other.
It is worth considering what friends need to know about one’s romantic life. A small disagreement with a partner may be excusable, but friends, may not be forgiving. News of a fight could serve as evidence that the pairing is not meant to be.
Not having friends and partners on the same page can cause a divide between all parties. Friends judging significant others can make a partner feel uncomfortable and isolated. Likewise, disapproving friends can create judgment and secrecy in once-loving bonds.
People must also be cautious to not become the person responsible for harsh opinions. It is all too easy to assign definitive labels to fragments of a story.
If one hears of an incident that paints a relative stranger in an unfair light, then advocating for breaking up may seem like the right answer. However, only focusing on bits and pieces ignores any nuances and complexities.
Relationships are ever-changing, and no era reflects that more than one’s early adult years. From struggling to accept love to unintentionally hurting people, many mistakes come from close bonds.
Being hurt and hurting others is inevitable. While this does not excuse harm, it does give room for understanding. Judgment can easily be passed, but it is possible to offer opinions without damaging other relationships.
Anaya Baxter is an integrated communications junior who can be reached at [email protected]
