Lily Hyunh/The Cougar
The other day, I was chatting with a mutual friend who did not grow up in the United States and only lives here during school semesters. They shared their experience of how lonely college has been in America and how this country lacks the community they have back home in the Middle East.
It has occurred to me before how different every student’s college experience is. Still, it wasn’t until this conversation that I realized the impact of coming from an international country also has on your experience.
American independent culture causes loneliness
The U.S. glorifies independence and doing everything on one’s own. The goal for the average American is to be successful, whether that includes a community or not.
From a young age, Americans are taught that, at 18, it is time to be fully independent. Whether that means moving away for college or moving out, it is normalized to be on your own.
In contrast, in countries like the Middle East, most people live with their parents until they get married and start their own families.
Something that explains this well is called the ‘Culture dimension theory’. According to this theory, it expands on two opposite points that each society sees as a norm.
Individualism means people are independent and mainly care for themselves and their close family. In contrast, collectivism means people belong to close groups that protect and support each other in exchange for the safety of loyalty.
Based on this idea, one would see America as a country that practices individualism and the Middle East as a region that practices collectivism. The cultural differences all lead back to a lack of community, also known as a lack of selflessness.
Lack of social interaction
New York is known as the “City that never sleeps,” but what about the countries that never sleep?
Most restaurants, cafes, and stores open and close at times that cater to the 9-5 job. On average, these places close around 8-9 pm, if not earlier. Whereas countries in the Middle East, everyone is out and about until after midnight. The streets are filled with people laughing, talking and enjoying each other’s company.
Put that in perspective of young college students living in America, and it becomes apparent that there are not many opportunities for us to build communities like there are in the Middle East.
Houston loneliness
UH is known as a commuter school. That being said, most students typically go straight home after their classes. If one isn’t rushing or involved with campus life, little to no socialization is happening.
Those who grew up in Houston have family and friends already made outside of college. However, coming from a different state or even country, all you can rely on for community is other students.
When that said, ‘community’ consists of individuals who don’t care to linger on campus or interact with others, it becomes much harder to form connections.
Many students express that they feel lonely attending a commuter school. The lack of social interactions and the lack of community can lead to depression as feelings of isolation arise.
The idea that you have to make it on your own is toxic. You can’t expect to have a community if you never put in the effort to have one.
As the viral saying goes, “You can’t want a village but not be a villager.”
opinion@thedailycougar.com
