Lily Huynh/The Cougar
With the rise of man-hating culture, the narrative has shifted toward the idea that having a boyfriend, especially in your 20s, is overrated.
People make it seem like it’s impossible to have a balance between having a boyfriend without having him take over every aspect of your life. The thought of tying yourself down to a man at such a young age is crazy.
However, having a boyfriend and one who genuinely loves you isn’t something to be embarrassed about.
Maybe it’s the hopeless romantic in me who has seen one too many rom-coms, but love is a beautiful thing. Seeing a young couple planning out their future and pushing one another to be better versions of themselves isn’t something that only exists in the movies. It’s all around you, if you’re willing to notice it and allow it to be shown off.
Soft launch culture in dating
The man-hating jokes are funny and Sabrina Carpenter’s “Manchild” is on loop in my car, I can’t help but notice that this has also fostered a culture of judging women for being in relationships. To the point where “soft launching” has become a trend among young couples.
“Far from fully hard-launching romantic partners, straight women are opting for subtler signs—a hand on a steering wheel, clinking glasses at dinner, or the back of someone’s head.” said Chanté Joseph in a Vogue article about the phenomenon.
When soft-launch posts are made, I’ll only ever recognize the man’s hand in a picture, shoulder or blurry back before I see his face. If his face is ever posted publicly, then I know the relationship is serious.
Impossible standards
This is now another rule for the impossible standards thrust upon women. If you’re single, don’t sleep around; you’ll never find a husband. But if you have a boyfriend, don’t talk about him much; no one wants to hear about it. Is your boyfriend really the only important thing in your life? Apparently, existing as a woman is only acceptable when you are perfectly silent and perfectly unattached.
But when did wanting partnership become something to be embarrassed by? When did caring deeply for someone start to feel like something we have to downplay, hide or joke about?
I think we have enough to worry about, and adding the pressure of being in love is just annoying.
If you just look outside the need to hide your partner because the internet said so, and actually look at what you have in front of you, you’ll realize something important. You’ll realize that there is something beautiful about having a person who listens to your 2 a.m. spirals, laughs at your bad jokes and pushes you to believe in yourself on the days you don’t.
I don’t think being in a relationship automatically holds you back. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost four years, and I’ve still grown, chased my goals and am living a full, fun life with the people I care about.
You shouldn’t feel like you need to hide your boyfriend or break up with him just because Vogue or a random TikToker says so. Finding true love in this generation is hard enough as it is, so you shouldn’t apologize for getting lucky sooner than everyone else.
Having a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing. What would be embarrassing is letting strangers online convince you to abandon something that brings you real joy, comfort and growth. If love shows up for you early, hold it. If it arrives later, cherish it then. Either way, the only timeline that matters is your own.
opinion@thedailycougar.com
