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Friday, September 29, 2023

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Cozy up to the good of global warming


Every cloud has a silver lining, so the old adage goes. This is true for many situations, including global warming.

Many scientists say if the world continues its increased consumption of fossil fuels, Earth will spiral into a disastrous, veritably uninhabitable predicament. Be it true or false, the coming heating of Earth and the resulting plights can spell success for many.

It is claimed that the polar icecaps are melting. With this comes a great opportunity for increased oil exploration.

Russia, Canada and the Nordic nations can take full advantage of this and drill for petroleum and natural gas in places previously unreachable because of thick sheets of ice. This will help to quench the world’s increasing energy thirst and increase profits for petroleum companies.

It will also fund Russia’s rise as a paradigm of democracy. Canada and the Nordic nations will also see a boom in revenues to help fund their vast social welfare programs. It will be a win-win situation for the whole world! Not only that, but these countries’ tourism industries will likely see an increase from balmier beaches.

Melting polar icecaps will inevitably mean increased freshwater flows in the nations near those caps. For example, much of the United States’ freshwater flows from the northern-most reaches of its borders and beyond.

Melting icecaps and glaciers will increase the volume of water heading south through its system of streams and rivers. This provides a perfect opportunity to build new hydroelectric plants to harvest the potential energy of this increased flow.

With a new energy source such as this, domestic coal can be diverted to liquefaction plants, and processed into fuel for automobiles, keeping us all on the roads for decades to come.

The melting polar icecaps will also raise the level of the oceans; savvy, business-minded governments can take advantage of this. Ever heard of Yuma Beach in Arizona? Possibly soon, you will.

The 100 mile-wide strip of land separating the town from the Gulf of California may be submerged, giving the town, more than 100 feet above sea level, a crack at the ever-popular beach resort industry. Arizona’s government and governments facing similar circumstances should plan ahead for this coming tourism monsoon.

Food prices have risen steeply all over the world. With global warming, supplies may rise to ease demand and keep prices low. As many cooler regions begin to warm, their capability to grow crops on a large scale will increase. Imagine land where there was once nothing but barren tundra, soon thousands of acres of wheat, grain and pastures for cattle might thrive.

With immigrants of superheated, equatorial developing nations heading north, there will never be a shortage of labor to harvest this new bounty. Once again, it’s a win-win situation. This may be the solution to world starvation we’ve been waiting for.

So, to all the naysayers and doomsday fans, global warming may not be as bad as you think.

With a little opportunism and optimism, we can take those lemons of climate change and make a tall, refreshing glass of lemonade to help us beat the coming heat.

Webb, a political science and creative writing senior, can be reached via [email protected].


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