There comes a time when some musicians need to throw in the towel. To each his own I respect everyone’s musical tastes, but Roshan and I reserve the right to bag on any act or trend we deem unacceptable.
If your name is Staind or Nickleback, maybe you should stop making music. Beyonce, maybe I’m not "ready for that jelly" but your music isn’t "booty-luscious;" it is atrocious. Bands with names like Scary Kids Scaring Kids and Forever the Sickest Kids make cringe-worthy music for teenagers who want something slightly edgier than The Academy Is.
If your band has just signed to Epitaph Records and is not named New Found Glory, your 15-minutes of fame will be over soon enough. You also might have a problem if your new favorite "it" band wears more makeup and "guy-liner" than My Chemical Romance, KISS, Twisted Sister and The Misfits combined.
You hear about that new indie-rock band playing Austin City Limits? Oh, they are great. They are on a major label, yet still "indie" and sound just like Death Cab for Cutie, only with no talent. But, Spin Magazine says they are one of the bands I "need to know." Hipster-hype is in full effect. Hooray for shaggy hair and tight jeans!
Fergie, you ruined The Black Eyed Peas, I don’t care how they hit it big since you joined. The Black Eyed Peas were once a rootsy, hip-hop act that played its own instruments; now they are just pop-fodder. Is anyone else tired of hearing girls recite the lyrics to "My Humps," or am I the only one?
When your hype man is Cisco Adler, maybe Schwayze should invest in early retirement. Speaking of hip-hop, when is Eminem going to brush the cobwebs off his microphone and show all these "sucka emcees" how it is done?
Hawthorne Heights and 95 percent of the Victory Records roster may want to put down the guitars and lift up the spatula. Yes, I do want fries with that, but please hold the angst.
Mike Damante
It’s no secret that everyone has that small set of bands or artists that they just can’t stand. There are some artists that people would just like to see cease to exist.
To start off, I would love to see 50 Cent hang it up. He just signed the biggest deal of his life (thanks to Vitamin Water) and since 2005, his rapping has deteriorated significantly since the release of Get Rich or Die Tryin’. While we’re on the subject, his goons in G-Unit, consisting of Tony Yayo and Lloyd Banks, are some of the weakest excuses for emcees, and I highly doubt hip-hop would be missing anything if those two called it quits.
As far as rock music goes, my vote goes out to Dave Matthews Band and Jack Johnson. It’s easy to stereotype the fan bases of these two bands, and it is one of the least enjoyable genres I’ve consistently heard throughout my life. Not to mention both of these, among many others, have been putting out the same generic album on a regular basis.
On the subject of pop music, let’s give the Pussycat Dolls and Pink a run for their money. The Pussycat Dolls are a one-woman show with four back-up dancers, and have yet to release a good song. Pink, on the other hand, has tried out every single genre, from rock to hip-hop to country, has had the hairstyles to match, and above all, she has failed miserably at every single one.
While Miley Cyrus is riding out the minds and wallets of tweens across the world, young adults and college students everywhere, one hopes, are gritting their teeth and cringing. It’s just not music. You can’t argue with those dollar signs, though.
This small list just scratches the surface of who I’d like to see disappear from the face of the Earth, but there aren’t enough Sound Check columns in the school year to touch base on them all.
Roshan Bhatt
