Couch potato: From baseball to blood, TV sure to scare

Boos, Boobs and the Boston Red Sox define Halloween 2007 for television viewers.

By Game 4 of the World Series, the Sox put enough fright into the Colorado Rockies to claim cool victory and send chills up the spines of couch potatoes rendered ticketless by the Rockies’ Web site, which crashed Oct. 22.

At least they didn’t have to pay to sit through the humiliation.

The horror, the hooters

Subscribers to Fox Reality have probably already noticed something terribly macabre and, well, incredibly sexy making its way into their living rooms. Just in time for the year’s most haunted of holidays, prolific spooky TV hostess and proud owner of the world’s most celebrated cleavage will name her apprentice. The Search for the Next Elvira pits 13 "unlucky" ladies against one another to vie for the chance to become the next mistress of the dark.

In the tradition of reality programs, the contestants will be required to show America what they’ve got, in a manner of speaking. Not only will they have dinner with the show’s namesake (yawn), but they will go on a lingerie shopping spree and sell coffee to tourists.

Televised terror

After a nice cold shower, viewers can turn the lights down low, put some candy on the lawn and choose from quite the horrific line up. In addition to all the frightening classics one expects to encounter every October, there are a few surprises.

Before kids were going all kinds of crazy to read about Harry Potter, there was Goosebumps. Throughout the 1990s, author R.L. Stine had American youth in his sinister back pocket as he put out more than 60 scary stories in print and even more electrifying episodes on television from 1995 to 1998.

Now, almost 10 years later, Cartoon Network has decided to bring back the wacky series, even if it is only for a short time. Kids and kids at heart enjoyed a weekend full of back-to-back episodes and can look forward to even more throughout the week leading up to Wednesday.

For the couch potato who’s too afraid to enjoy the likes of Poltergeist and Hellraiser, Comedy Central has a more laughable alternative. Sure, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th is a lot like Scary Movie, but Scary Movie is nowhere to be found, so it will have to do.

Misery Loves Company

Sadly, no Halloween would be complete without a visit from Death – and not the one voiced by Adam Carolla on Family Guy. The unfortunate soul this time was Porter Wagoner, who among other things unleashed upon the world a number of its most beloved country music staples, including "Skid Row Joe" and "The Cold Hard Facts of Life." On Sunday, the legend made his way to the Grand Ole Opry in the sky after 80 flashy years, 21 of which he spent serenading citizens of TV Land. He will be missed.

Leave a Comment