Couch Potato: ‘Idol,’ football take on writers’ strike

Back to school, back to school. While you guys were drinking it up and resolving to do better in school, stay the hell away from Facebook (good luck) and lose 15 pounds this year, your favorite column was picked up for a second fun-filled semester.

I hope you didn’t vow to stay away from the tube, as that would be kind of awkward for this spud; but I suppose if that’s the way it has to be, then that’s that. No soup for you!

Luckily for everyone else, the year reeks of bright opportunities, new beginnings and fresh starts. And for the citizens of TV Land, there is no exception.

Since October, television has been held at figurative gun point, the kind one might write into a script for a glitzy crime drama or perhaps an episode of Hannah Montana in which everything has gone terribly wrong. Every so often the Writers Guild of America, clad with handlebar mustaches and new boot spurs, will force the "bank proprietor" in this little metaphor to take out one of the hostages… or reduce their fancy award shows to press conferences.

And then, just when they were least suspecting it, the nervous spectators outside see the outlines of two figures approaching fast. They appear to be on horseback and wearing capes. Hark! It’s the New Year’s Kids: the Super Bowl and American Idol. Can these two otherwise mutually exclusive megaforces save television as we know it? What colors should I wear Feb. 3? Will this metaphor ever end? Tune in next week.

You can love it or hate it, but there is no denying the raw power that American Idol time and again proves it has over couch potatoes from sea to shining sea. In fact, it just might be the life preserver the entertainment industry needs right now.

They don’t actually need a script, even if they’re used to having one. At this point in the game, Simon and the gang could do this in their sleep. Also, there is no way a couple of picketers will be able to deter yet another million wannabe idols from pursuing their lifelong dreams of stardom and bursting into our living rooms, not to mention it’s either this or more reruns. The four-hour season premiere kicks off its first half at 7 p.m. Tuesday on FOX and concludes Wednesday at the same time.

Apparently the Super Bowl is also a big thing.

No matter how much you might want to, you can’t wrangle these guys into a script – they tend to have their own plans in mind.

Every year the Super Bowl brings more potatoes to the couch than anything else, so it is probably safe to say that this year will be no different, strike or no strike.

Odds are one of two things will happen Feb. 3.

Everyone will watch or half of everyone will watch while the other half goes to another room to survey the cheese-fest of other options.

Eventually, that half will get bored and the natural order will be restored with the Super Bowl victorious, all because no one ever wants to compete with it.

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