As of late, the military has had a very difficult time trying to find people to go fight in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. This is mostly because people generally don’t want to go to such places and be shot at. However, I have a sure-fire way to boost their numbers. Sure, it’ll trample on some people’s rights, but hey, what are rights? We’re at war.
First, we’re going to find anyone between the ages of 18 and 35 that actively and publicly support John "100 more years in Iraq" McCain. These people are automatically enlisted and shipped off to Iraq. After all, they obviously support the war there as they’re voting for a candidate that has no intention of even attempting to bring our involvement in that conflict to an end. The only way we can remain involved in such a war without drafting people who want the war to end is to send people that want it fought. I don’t care what your excuse is for not being there right now, but it isn’t good enough. Go fight and die for what you claim to believe in or be branded as a coward.
The next group of people that get enlisted and sent off to Iraq are the folks that still proudly display stickers from Bush’s 2004 campaign on their vehicles. As they still support Bush enough to display the fact that they voted for him on their cars, trucks, and land barges, it’s obvious that they see his policies as a good idea. As such, they should be forced to support the full ramifications of his policies, and that means getting shot at in Iraq and Afghanistan.
If the military is still short on RPG fodder, the next group that gets enlisted would be the SUV owners. Actually, it needs to be a bit more specific: anyone who drives a vehicle made after 2000 that gets less than 15 miles per gallon on average falls into this group. It doesn’t matter what Bush said--he invaded Iraq for the oil and associated revenue. Those that would waste such resources on around-town trips need to pay for their wastefulness and opulence.
Lastly, if the military is still short on recruits, draft anyone involved with the Bush administration, including Bush himself, as non-commissioned officers. Perhaps some real combat experience might sober these idiots up and help them realize why the rest of us don’t want this war to continue. Furthermore, it’s far more constructive than doing what should be done to this group--they should be sent to the gallows for their war crimes.
I say all of this because I don’t want to see the return of the draft, which will become necessary if current trends continue. The only way we can prevent such a strategy is to get out of Iraq and re-stabilize Afghanistan. This won’t mean that the terrorists have won. In fact, the terrorists didn’t even care about Iraq until we invaded. No, pulling out of Iraq would be showing the bravery to admit that we were wrong in the first place.
