Men: You can choose a team, too

Someone needs to create a support group for men like me, so I could stand up in front of a group of guys with plights similar to my own and confess my problem.

My name is Alan, and I have seen The Twilight Saga: New Moon.

My beautiful wife, like many other wives, girlfriends and significant others, has been swept up in The Twilight Saga. She decided we should go see New Moon on opening night, and seeing as I love my wife, I agreed to go (it’s OK if you think going to see the film was my choice; I won’t lose sleep over it).

Aside from the throngs of screaming, obnoxious teenage girls, I couldn’t help but notice a large contingent of men present to see the film.

Three groups of men would go see a Twilight Saga film: men who get dragged by their spouses (the ‘whipped’ category), men who are going with a woman they just started dating in an attempt to impress them (the ‘look how sensitive I am’ category) and men who genuinely want to see the film (the ‘what the hell is that guy thinking?’ category).

Assuming that most men who see New Moon can be classified in one of those first two categories, I have a solution for all men who are forced to go see a movie in which they have no interest.

Thestory features a love triangle between the main character, Bella, and her two love interests, Edward and Jacob. Whoever was in charge of marketing for the film decided to pit female fans against each other by creating ‘Team Edward’ and ‘Team Jacob.’

I would like to create a third team for everyone who has been or will be an unwilling participant in this film: ‘Team Alice.’

Alice (Ashley Greene) is a vampire in the Cullen family who men can really get behind and root for.

Many men may be surprised to find that as long as they go to see the film, their ladies might not even care that they’re rooting for a female character. My wife was actually less upset when I cheered for Alice than when I cheered for Jacob taking off his shirt.

It’s sexist that the only two ‘teams’ involved in this farce of a film exist to cheer on the two male leads. What are men supposed to do, pick one of these two unappealing choices?

I say nay. Come on, men, let’s create our own team – Team Alice.

Not only would this give those of us who would rather be doing anything else an option of who to follow, it might even help attract male interest in the series.

My wife may be a smokin’-hot babe (she’ll probably be reading this), but I need someone to root for.

Especially since I already know I’ll be dragged to the next one of these crappy movies.

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