Many magazines targeted toward women advertise articles that supposedly have the secret to how women can “have it all.”
According to such publications, women can be wives and mothers, have successful careers and be good friends.
They say that ladies can — and should — be in shape, dress fashionably and manage a household. But these concepts can sometimes be difficult for today’s overstressed women.
Women fought long and hard for the right to vote, the right to obtain contraception and the right to make their own decisions, instead of having their lives being determined by their husbands and fathers.
There are many successful women in the world today. Leaders such as Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin present an ideal lifestyle for many women.
Several of the issues women face today have little to do with struggling to be successful and have more to do with a burden of expectations to deal with. Role conflict is not a new idea; psychologists and sociologists alike have studied the struggles of women and men with adjusting to their ever-changing roles in society. It is not uncommon to see a successful, corporate woman happily married to a stay-at-home husband.
While men struggle with their own role conflicts, many women feel an extreme amount of guilt when they don’t “have it all.”
Are women who think it’s too much to get married, have children and have a career unaccomplished?
In the book Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, author Lori Gottlieb dares to mention the dirty little subject of “settling.” Throughout the book, Gottlieb discusses women’s tendencies to seek only perfection in their lives and examines why it’s OK to “settle” in certain aspects of life, including marriage.
Gottlieb argues that numerous women are so focused on what is expected of them that they feel incapable of doing what they want.
The way many women view each other often doesn’t help the situation, either. Women constantly compete with each other over everything.
Stay-at-home moms say that working mothers are bad parents because they aren’t home with their children. Working mothers call stay-at-home moms lazy because they aren’t contributing financially.
Even at UH, some women stick their noses up at others who would be happy to simply be mothers and wives after finishing their degrees.
While it’s true that the founders of the women’s rights movement fought long and hard to give women the right and opportunity to do everything a man does, they also fought to give women the choice of whether to do so. Just because a woman decides she wants something unconventional doesn’t make her a bad person and certainly doesn’t make her ungrateful for the work of women before her.
If things are right for one woman and her family, then she should have the right to be comfortable with her choices.
Liz Price is a communication junior and may be reached at [email protected]
