Opinion Web Exclusive

New iPhone upgrade drops the iBall

Two years ago, I didn’t understand the hype about the iPhone; I didn’t see the point behind spending money on a model of a phone that was easily surpassed by the new upgrade. All I knew was that Apple constantly came out with new ways to make people spend more money for a slightly bigger screen and slightly thinner phone.

These upgrades also make users delete numerous pictures of themselves, their food, their dog and their children—or making them delete that workout app they never quite got around to using. Enough is enough. No more deleting of our precious memories and narcissistic tendencies.

With the new iOS 7 upgrade, Apple has made some distinct changes, including making Siri sound less robot-like, having the Air-Drop option and changing the overall visuals of the phone. As for Siri, I’d rather my technology stay robotic; the last thing I need in my life is some robot getting a god complex, thinking it can do whatever it wants. Please, Siri, remain a robot.

Another part of the iOS 7 upgrade is the feature that makes the phone waterproof. This feature sounds so amazing that it’s almost too good to be true — which it is. Some pranksters have taken to Twitter, Vine, Facebook and other forms of social media to show the world that the new iOS 7 update has made their phones waterproof.

This sounds ridiculous, but unfortunately there are gullible simpletons who actually attempted to submerge their phones in water and then were angry when — surprise, surprise — their phones were in fact not waterproof.

I have conflicting emotions regarding this matter. Part of me wants to congratulate the pranksters for organizing an unspoken union over the internet in order to pull off this joke; part of me feels sorry for the people who will now have to purchase new phones, and the last part of me wants to laugh in the face of the people who were gullible enough to believe that a software update could make a phone waterproof. I feel such inner turmoil over this serious matter.

Aside from the easily convinced minds of our generation, there seems to be another issue surrounding the new iOS 7 update. While many users are happy with the new setup and find it aesthetically pleasing, there are other users who could vomit at the thought of the changes — in some cases literally.

There have been reports that the new iOS 7 setup is making people experience motion sickness and vertigo. Some users claim that the rapidly moving apps and animations are too much to handle. Hear that, Apple? You’re making customers sick with your constant changes.

Well, don’t you worry; I refuse to succumb to the peer pressure of the new upgrade. Besides, I don’t even have enough space to download the new update. So take that.

Opinion columnist Kelly Schafler is a print journalism junior and may be reached at [email protected]

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