It’s that time of year again. There is the faint crisp of the incoming chill in the air and students carry jackets over their forearms in expectation of colder weather. Male students stand by with their hoodies and track pants while female students impatiently wait with their leggings, Starbucks cups, intricately knotted scarves and Ugg boots for the first sign of a cold front. Well, never fear — the winter holidays are getting closer, and the promise of Halloween and the chilling weather that comes with it is just over the horizon.
During this time of year, some college students begin the frantic search for the perfect Halloween costume. Guys typically try and find a costume that is simple and humorous, such as the oversized banana costume; girls typically try and find a costume that have some form of pun in the name or an obvious profession — i.e. Pocahottie (hot Pocahontas) or Sexy/Naughty Cop or Fireman. So lock up your liquor cabinet and scantily clad costumes, because college girls will find them, wear the bare minimum and pass out on an ugly couch that smells like unmentionables.
I think that this year, people should attempt to come up with a few more inventive costume ideas. Spending $50 on a costume is ridiculous, and there are cheaper, more creative alternatives to the typical Halloween store options.
Here are a few random and fairly easy costume ideas:
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The Ultimate Cougar Fan: Dress head to toe in red: red UH shirt, pants, shoes, leggings and red face paint if you can manage it — basically, dress like you are a member of Coog Crew. When people ask what your Halloween costume is, reply with, “What? This isn’t a Halloween costume. I dress this way all day every day. Go Coogs!” Feel free to continually scream “Go Coogs!” to keep the legitimacy of the costume alive.
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Childhood Cluster: Find any old boxes your parents may have kept that contain pieces of your childhood, such as old Beanie Babies, dolls, action figures, T-shirts with glitter or superheroes on them and plastic toys that say “intended for children ages 5 to 10.” Take all of these pieces and configure it into a costume. People might be a tad confused by your costume, but just explain that it’s your childhood in a nutshell. It’s not your fault their childhood wasn’t as epic as yours.
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Hipster Abraham Lincoln: Buy a beard, top hat and wide rim glasses. Be sure to say things like, “I had a beard way before No-Shave November.”
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Gordon Ramsey: Wear a long white coat and run around, screaming insults and profanities at people in an accent — “Your costume is so nonexistent that gynecologists wonder if you’re coming in for an emergency appointment!”
Admittedly, these are some pretty bad ideas, but these are just a few suggestions. Feel free to get weird and creative in order to make this Halloween seem less like an excuse to drink too much and more like an excuse to indulge in childhood whimsies.
Opinion columnist Kelly Schafler is a print journalism junior and may be reached at [email protected]
