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Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Staff Editorial

‘Happiness is a warm gun,’ especially on campus

When the campus carry bill passed, we snapped in the best way. We threw an endless party that went on into many nights, through dimensions and past lifelong dreams.

It was the party that ended all parties and it happened because of the passing of more gun laws in Texas.

“It is important to note that state university presidents are allowed to establish reasonable rules, regulations or other provisions regarding this law, including designating areas where handguns may not be carried on campus,” said President and Chancellor Renu Khator in a news release.

What’s wonderful about UH is that it’s a different kind of college. Our diversity is legendary, and our uniqueness is a part of our pride.

Whereas some people in the higher-education racket cringe at this legislation, UH has the ability to embrace it.

See, there are just so many areas on the UH campus where guns would be welcome, nay, preferred.

There are the various places dedicated to sports. TDECU Stadium and Hofheinz Pavilion are perfect examples of facilities in which vast crowds of people gather in the spirit of Americanism.

And to top that off, alcohol is available.

In all seriousness, you can’t have real fun with guns unless you’ve got a nice buzz, some sports to watch and some fellow Americans to cajole. Those factors only add to the excitement inherent in firearms.

Another area is the dormitories and on-campus apartments. These are places of privacy, where people can relax, nap, study and experience all the other comforts of home.

Home is where your gun is; without a gun in your dorm, or in your friend’s dorm, or when you’re just perusing the dorms, how will you get that homely feeling when you’re off on your own for the first time?

And let’s not forget the classroom.

The focal point of collegiate life, it is there, in the rooms and auditoriums, that young, unfettered minds are let loose to inhale the knowledge laid out before them.

But it is nearly impossible to have a real, honest debate without the possibility of violence. Guns and argument give the air a scent of brimstone, with a hint of mint. The perfect cocktail for your morning course.

This bill will help faculty members as well. A gun is the best way to keep a class in line or to deal with clowns, whiners and brownnosers.

But nobody wants to use their gun or waste their bullets.

It’s all just about security.

The Cougar Editorial Board

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