Satire: only insane people would want a better country
Sorry Bernie Sanders supporters, but there is no reason for you to be excited.
“University of Houston student supporters of Democratic presidential candidate and brief folk and reggae icon, Bernie Sanders, are 500 percent more excited about their candidate’s campaign despite only gaining thousands of supporters with fringe political views that will never be popular,” said CNN broadcaster Wolf Blitzer.
For no logical reason at all, supporters of Bernie Sanders believe his message is relevant to students at UH.
This is a serious problem for responsible students attending classes and paying tuition.
“I just can’t believe they think anyone is going to agree with their views,” said business junior Payton Underwood. “I mean what kind of person would support free tuition public universities anyway?”
This sort of criticism is applicable to Sanders’ supporters. No responsible student would actually support letting any university-accepted applicant receive their education, despite their economic background.
The whole point of receiving a college education is overcoming the challenge of being drowned in debt and living an easy, successful life without problems afterwards. It is disappointing that students can somehow resonate with this view that is only supported by a fringe majority of the nation.
This view only encourages laziness for those actively seeking a higher education to receive better job opportunities in their futures.
“The demographics of Bernie Sanders supporters include a majority of college students who do not go to class and always complain about paying tuition,” said Fox News host Bill O’Reilly.
The depressing amount of unwarranted enthusiasm does not stop there for those who support Sanders at UH. They even think that if Sanders loses the nomination, his message can still be carried on for years to come.
Conservative icon and Arizona skeleton king, Barry Goldwater, had no success at all when he lost by the biggest presidential landslide in American history to Lyndon Johnson. His views may have influenced the Reagan revolution and the modern conservative movement, but that is no reason to believe any average American resonated with those views. Only the government did.
If Sanders’ supporters really believe their candidate’s views are pertinent to the American people, then they must believe the disproved notion by Citizens United that successful grassroots campaigns represent the views of average Americans.
Opinion columnist Samuel Pichowsky is a political science sophomore and may be reached at [email protected]