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Tuesday, September 27, 2022

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Dear Denise: What to do when roommates disagree


Dylan Burkett/The Cougar

In The Cougar’s weekly anonymous advice column, I talk about music, relationships and serious disagreements with roommates. To submit your questions for future issues, click the Dear Denise button on our home page.

Denise Miller, what music do you recommend?

Heyyyyyyy. I have a sneaking suspicion that I know who wrote this. Only a few people use my full government name when addressing me, but to answer your question … I am a serial music repeater. My Spotify ‘On Repeat’ is truly all I stream, but I have been listening to Giveon more than normal lately. I am going to see him perform at 713 Music Hall soon, and I am too excited. If you have never listened to Giveon, I’m going to give you a list of my favorite songs and I highly urge you to give them a listen.

  • “WORLD WE CREATED”
  • “Tryna Be”
  • “Unholy Matrimony”

What do I do when I stop talking to a guy I really liked but keep seeing him around on campus? 💔

Hi friend! And wow, you are in a predicament. I wish I was sitting next to you because I need some context. Why did you stop talking to him? Did you think you liked him too much? Did he have some serious red flags that you were scared of? So many questions, but I know I’m not going to get an answer right now.

If you keep seeing him around campus, maybe it’s meant to be. The campus is huge, but it can feel small when you constantly run into the same people. The odds of running into people you know all the time are low, so if you keep crossing paths, it has to be a sign. If you want, reach back out and send him a text. If you don’t, invest in a good pair of sunglasses to hide in.

My roommates really hate each other. It’s gotten to the point where one of them put our address online because the other wouldn’t stop leaving the door unlocked. What do you recommend I do?

Oh wow. I’m going to be honest. If this were me, I would move out. I don’t care if I need to pay for breaking the contract or if my roommates will get mad at me, but it’s time to go. You do not want to be around if something escalates. Leaving the door unlocked is so unsafe for a variety of reasons, so I understand the frustrations.

From a student leader perspective, I would say y’all need to sit down together and talk about where everything went wrong. Preferably with a third party in the room who could mediate, but that just doesn’t sound realistic. Why is sis leaking y’all’s address? What happened to stranger danger? What happened to common sense? You need to get out of there with a quickness.

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