In The Cougar’s weekly anonymous advice column, I talk about Valentine’s Day dilemmas. To submit your questions for future issues, click the Dear Denise button on our home page.
My partner wants to go on an expensive trip for Valentine’s Day, but I’m looking for a way out of the relationship. What’s the best way to end it?
Oh, brother. Anon, you should have ended this relationship before the conversation surrounding vacations even came up. This information is coming to you the day after Valentine’s Day, but I hope you told your partner the truth and ended the relationship. The best way to end any relationship is like waxing! Just do it straightforwardly because if you take too long it hurts more.
I’m in a casual relationship with three individuals who are unaware of each other. They each want to do something different on Valentine’s Day, so how do I decide which one to go with?
You are the villain. Why are you dating three people at the same time? Let’s do better. For Valentine’s, you need to pick yourself and be alone. Hope this helps!
I bought my girlfriend a puppy for Valentine’s Day, but it turns out she’s allergic. What should I do with the dog? I can’t keep it at home because I am allergic.
This actually made me giggle out loud. Unfortunately, you need to return that dog to whoever you got it from. I don’t understand your thought process behind the gift. If someone is allergic to dogs, that usually comes up in conversation and the fact that you are also allergic and didn’t know your girlfriend is allergic is strange.
I am interested in my best friend’s significant other. How do I break them up before Valentine’s Day?
I wish I could respond with that facepalm emoji because that’s all I have to say.