The Boston Red Sox are World Series Champions for the second time in four years after defeating the Colorado Rockies in a four-game sweep.
So what happens now that the champagne has been rinsed from the locker room floor?
The team will return to Boston to prepare for the best part of winning the title – throwin’ a "wicked awesome pahty."
In a city that lives and dies by the actions that take place at 4 Yawkey Way, it’s only fair to ask the citizens in the area to play their part in the planning of this great affair. Here is a small list of things that should be done prior to the event.
For the city of Boston:
1. Fuel up the fleet of Duck Tour boats – After 2004’s celebration aboard the duck-shaped all-terrain vehicles, the city now knows that nothing says "congratulations" better than mid-week drunkards swimming through the freezing waters of the Charles River, trying to climb the Rapunzel-esque hair of Manny Ramirez.
2. Make phone calls to local bands and celebrities – As if the team isn’t already the biggest celebrity in town, it will be necessary to have Ben Affleck drop by and make some disparaging Yankees remarks to fire up the crowd.
Immediately following the "Yankees suck" chant (that really has no meaning this year), there will need to be enough room on stage for Jonathan Papelbon to lead the team in the "River Dance" to the sounds of the Standells and Dropkick Murphys.
3. Get a pi’ntilde;ata – Come on. You know you want to see Dustin Pedroia take a hack at one. He could make it rain candy as far as Martha’s Vineyard with that swing.
4. Be polite – Send thank you cards to Major League Baseball and the Fox network for making the Rockies have to wait eight days between the NL Championship series and the World Series. Nobody can say that the lay-off didn’t cool down one of the best runs in baseball history.
For the attending fans:
1. Prepare your signs – Since Red Sox players carried fan-made signs during the 2004 parade, the loyal supporters will surely be in full force this year with quips that only the local fan base can come up with. Spectators should be prepared for anything.2. Wash your clothes – It’s OK now. The Red Sox won the big one. You cannot curse the team now, so take off your lucky shirts and caps and shave your beards. You don’t want the most talked-about subject of the celebration to be about the stink of the crowd.
--- We now interrupt this list with news that Alex Rodriguez has decided to opt-out of the remainder of his contract with the Yankees. Although this announcement is rude and untimely, it is one more reason for Red Sox fans to cheer. We now return to the previously scheduled list. ---
3. Enjoy the day – Boston knows as well as anybody that this may not happen again for, oh say, 86 years, and times like these should be cherished. You don’t want to have to tell your grandchildren that you didn’t go to the parade because you thought this would happen every year. Take the day off, skip school or make the drive. It will be worth it.
These simple steps will surely lead to an enjoyable day of celebrating in The Old Towne. After that, there’s nothing to do until February. I wonder if there’s a football team around there.
