Hipsters these days think that they can take anything and make it their own. It started with Ray-Bans — one of the most iconic images in American culture — and has slowly tried to infest every aspect of our culture, in an attempt to be more ironic (and therefore hipster-cool) than everyone else.
But now they’ve gone too far. We stood back and watched as they took instant Polaroid pictures from us; we did nothing when they decided they all wanted retro bicycles.
They’re not taking the stand-alone mustache.
What was once considered the most masculine and excellent use of facial hair is now being worn by today’s equivalent of hippies.
Just imagine how Tom Selleck (owner of perhaps the best mustache in Hollywood) must feel when he sees a neon-clad idiots walking down the street with a Starbucks cup in one hand and a cheap cigarette in the other. I’m almost certain that he sheds a tear for America’s youth.
And forget what Burt Reynolds thinks — he just runs them over and keeps going.
So to all of my fellow non-hipster facial hair brethren, we have a new mission. We must bring the stand-alone ’stache back to its once-great roots.
Remember: every time you wear a mustache in public, a hipster breaks a pair of Vans. With enough effort (and enough manly mustaches) we can reduce the hipsters to a sobbing, shoeless mass.
Of course, they might decide that homelessness is the new trend, and then we’re all screwed.
This is the best thing I have ever read from the Daily Cougar.
sadly I must maintain full beard at least through the 2011 World Beard and Mustache Championship in Trondheim