Lily Huynh/The Cougar
I remember moving into my dorm my freshman year and feeling a wave of independence. My parents dropped me off at Cougar Village 1 after helping me settle in all day. When they left, it felt like I was saying goodbye to relying on them.
Being the youngest in a big family, it always seemed like I lacked some freedom. Although only thirty minutes from home, my first days at UH felt like I was entering adulthood and could finally do things for myself.
As time went on, I found myself going through tough changes and experiencing the harsh realities of this grown-up life I had once craved. I had realized that I really missed having my parents at my side for everything.
The little responsibilities weren’t as tough at first. Things like doing my own laundry, making my own meals and cleaning were responsibilities I was already used to. Having to buy things when I ran out of them or making the time to go to the store when I had loads of assignments due got a little harder.
There was also a financial burden I experienced which really added even more stress on top of school. I was working a part-time job, but it felt like I wasn’t even making any money.
I remember being home one weekend and complaining about all these things and my dad made a joke acting as if my student life wasn’t as hard as I was making it out to be. My first reaction was to think he didn’t understand, however I later realized the privilege I had compared to what my mom and dad were experiencing when they were in college.
A different perspective
While I had been complaining about my one part-time job that I had mostly for leisure, when my dad was in college he was working multiple jobs to pay for all of his school and other necessities. My mom had a similar experience, but had also been struggling with heavy family issues.
When I sat and thought about my college life compared to my parents’, it really hit me that they are humans too who had experienced the same struggles, if not worse, as me. I had only ever seen them as caregivers who lived to provide for me, but they are also people going through life as well.
I think this change of perception I had is something that showed me what growing up really is. Every person in this world is experiencing a different concern. Parents, although at a different stage, are also experiencing life for the first time.
It’s easy to have empathy for others when you don’t hold them at such a high standard. I never saw how much my parents sacrifice for me each day until I really saw them as people. I find myself struggling to navigate my education and future while my parents are probably struggling with their full-time jobs and future endeavors as well. All this anxiety and uncertainty is felt by them too.
Another thing both students and parents experience is mistakes. Humans aren’t perfect and there is so much nuance to life that mistakes will be made. Each person has their own flaws and I think that when this can be accepted it makes the relationship with your parents a little easier.
Growing together
Although I still rely on them for so much in my life, this shift in view has made me more independent. I see my parents responsibilities and life stories as a way to shape mine not only as my caregivers, but also as people with experiences I can learn from.
College can be an extremely difficult thing to adjust to. There are constant changes and experiences that will be hard to get through. It’s also a time to learn and grow. With school, organizations, jobs and plans for the future it may seem impossible to navigate. However, experiences like these are life stages that shape us.
For me, my parents played a huge role in shaping who I am today. I can credit that to the way they raised me, but as they are still shaping my life currently, I see them doing it as humans going through life as well.
I know they see me as their daughter, and while they have always had respect for my accomplishments and even mistakes, I too have respect for their actions and support of my childhood and current education.
Life is hard and different for everyone. As a student facing challenges, I know my parents will always be there to support me through them. I have had an easier time going through college compared to them, but that’s because of the sacrifices, energy and love they have given me throughout my upbringing.
College has taught me many lessons so far, but the most transforming lesson has been that my parents are people too. I hold so much respect for what they have done in their lives and for what they have done for me. As I continue to grow into an adult and individual, I know that their support and own human experiences will guide me even further.
Opinion@thedailycougar.com
