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Sunday, June 26, 2022


Losing fake virginity is fun in movies

Emma Stone stars in "Easy A" as Olive, a girl who pretends to sleep with her friend so people will stop harrassing him. Others start asking for the same service, and soon the entire situation gets out of hand. The movie is just one of many teen comedies this year. | Sony Pictures

With not one but two coming-of-age movies releasing this week, it seems it’s once again time to compare them against the all-time greats. While “The Virginity Hit” and “Easy A” look to be decently entertaining films, they don’t hold a candle to some of Hollywood’s best offerings.

Coming in on the bottom of the list is the McLovin-filled hit “Superbad.” Every single person at UH has probably seen it by now at least once, but as a coming-of-age tale, it’s actually quite good. Instead of losing their virginity, Jonah Hill and Michael Cera somehow end up in a healthy relationship at the end, but McLovin’ gets down to business big time — until the cops show up and pull him off and out of the girl of his dreams.

With a name like “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” it’s pretty obvious the focal point of the movie is getting laid. Steve Carrell does a great job playing the most lovably awkward virgin since Dustin Hoffman (more on that later), and the supporting cast is absolutely brilliant. Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen and Craig Robinson are all top-notch, and the crazy Indian guy (Gerry Bednob) is the icing on the cake.

While there are quite a few insanely hot girls in all of these movies, few rival Elisha Cuthbert in “The Girl Next Door.” She plays the down-to-earth porn star that — for some reason — has a thing for innocent high school guys. Not to judge or anything, but usually stories like that end up with “I swear, officer, I thought he was 18.” However, the story is solid, and the ending is hilarious.

Going into the 1980s can sometimes bring some questionable things back, but in the case of “Revenge of the Nerds,” it’s quite another issue. The movie has aged quite well, considering being a nerd is back in style. It’s the raunchiness that saves this one, though, because as soon as the cameras go up in the sorority house (something every man on the planet has thought about at one point), all hell breaks loose. Add in some classic scenes — like losing your virginity in a Darth Vader costume on a moon bounce — and you can see why “Nerds” still makes it on the list.

Coming in a close second place in the virginity genre is the movie that started the second generation of raunchy comedies singlehandedly — “American Pie.” From Stiffler drinking his friend’s baby batter in a beer to the now-infamous line “This one time, at band camp,” the original “American Pie” is everything a teen movie should be — ridiculous, heartwarming and full of hot women. Shannon Elizabeth has never looked better than she did as Nadia, especially once the shirt comes off.

There is only one true classic, though. The original movie that showed everyone just how great a movie about losing your virginity could be. It has an epic soundtrack, one of the greatest actors of all time in his (arguably) best role, and is hilarious, heart wrenching and morbid all at the same time. Without a doubt, “The Graduate” is not only the best movie about becoming a man, but is one of the greatest comedies ever. Hoffman shines in every single scene, and the soundtrack from Simon & Garfunkel is classic. “The Graduate” manages to prove that it is technically possible to have sex with your true love’s mom, tell her and still have her take you back.

While “Easy A” and “The Virginity Hit” may be in the same genre, there are some heavy hitters in this list. They’ll really have to shake up the teen comedy formula in order to gain recognition.

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